When Does Life Begin?

“When does my life begin?” I ask myself. “When did You, Lord, breathe life into me?” I feel the warmth and security wrapped in my mother’s womb. I cuddle and press securely against her insides. She feels me flutter as I get excited. A week ago I was hiccupping in this fluid. Things are dark and unexplained, but I feel God’s Presence as He knits me together. It is my 16^th week birthday. My parts are now fully formed. My fingers and toes have nails and even fingerprints! I am about five inches long and weigh about 3 ounces. I feel vibration and hear the hum of music outside. I enjoy grasping and pulling the umbilical cord that is near me. “When does my life begin?”

            Two weeks have gone by. Time seems irrelevant and surreal. I am 19 weeks old. If the idea of my existence seemed remote, nothing makes it more real than when my mother feels me move and kick. I squirm and pass time doing back flips. Space continues to grow and I must be growing too.

            Things are happening. I am wiggling and twisting. Space feels cramped. I cradle and rest my head in my mother – surrounded and protected by her. My excitement is almost unbearable. I close my eyes. When I open them I see my mother and father gazing down at me with love. Sheer grace and love which makes the background fade from my vision. I fix my eyes on theirs. I blink my eyes trying to comprehend what is happening. Longing to express love for my parents, I snuggle deeply into my mother’s breast and fall asleep. “Has my life now begun or was it long ago?”

            “When does my life begin?” he asks himself. “When did You, Lord, breathe life into me?” He feels warmth and security wrapped comfortably in his mother’s womb. He presses against his mother’s insides. She feels him flutter as he gets excited. A week ago he was hiccupping in his mother’s amniotic fluid. Things are dark and unexplained, but he feels God’s Presence as God knits him together. It is his 16^th week birthday. His parts are now fully formed. His fingers and toes have nails and even fingerprints! Right now he is about the size of an avocado. In the next few weeks he will double his weight and add inches to his length. His heart pumps about 25 quarts of blood each day and that amount is increasing as he develops. He feels vibration and hears the noises outside. He enjoys grasping and pulling the umbilical cord that is near him. “When does my life begin?” he wonders.

            Things are happening. Time seems irrelevant and surreal. He feels uncomfortable and weak. He no longer feels snug and secure in his mother’s body. Hearing the familiar voice of his mother, he senses something is wrong. His mother doubts his existence. Soon he feels something cool and ruthless probe him. His life in the womb fades with darkness and confusion. He was dilated and evacuated (D&E) from the safe haven of his mother. Things are left dark and unexplained. “When did his life begin?” He gazes down on his mother and father with Christ’s love and forgiveness, wrapped securely in God’s Presence for Eternity. His life on earth was taken from him before it began.

Please Pray for the Abolition of Abortion!!

Psalm 139

¹You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Farther Along

Farther along we’ll know all about it 
Farther along we’ll understand why 
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine 
We’ll understand this, all by and by 

Tempted and tried, I wondered why 
The good man died, the bad man thrives 
And Jesus cries because he loves em’ both 
We’re all cast-aways in need of ropes 
Hangin’ on by the last threads of our hope 
In a house of mirrors full of smoke 
Confusing illusions I’ve seen 

Where did I go wrong, I sang along 
To every chorus of the song 
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gates 
Leading mice and men down to their fates 
But some will courageously escape 
The seductive voice with a heart of faith 
While walkin’ that line back home 

So much more to life than we’ve been told 
It’s full of beauty that will unfold 
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son 
That deadweight burden weighs a ton 
Go down into the river and let it run 
And wash away all the things you’ve done 
Forgiveness alright 

Chorus 

Still I get hard pressed on every side 
Between the rock and a compromise 
Like the truth and pack of lies fightin’ for my soul 
And I’ve got no place left go 
Cause I got changed by what I’ve been shown 
More glory than the world has known 
Keeps me ramblin’ on 

Skipping like a calf loosed from its stall 
I’m free to love once and for all 
And even when I fall I’ll get back up 
For the joy that overflows my cup 
Heaven filled me with more than enough 
Broke down my levee and my bluff 
Let the flood wash me 

And one day when the sky rolls back on us 
Some rejoice and the others fuss 
Cause every knee must bow and tongue confess 
That the son of god is forever blessed 
His is the kingdom, we’re the guests 
So put your voice up to the test 
Sing Lord, come soon 

Chorus

Uganda, Africa

Dear Friends and Family,
I hope that the Lord is doing many marvelous things in your lives as He is in mine. He is so good.
I want to begin by telling you a little bit about what He has done in my life leading up to going to Uganda for a short yet impactful two weeks.
Last summer, August 1-4, I went to a UBF International Summer Bible Conference with my daddy and my brother James. I had been continually praying throughout the 2012-2013 school year that I would have an opportunity to see my great Aunt Sarah. During Bible class at school, when it came time for prayer requests, that was mine. God made a way for me to go to the conference, and to see and spend some precious time with my Aunt Sarah.

The conference was incredible. It left a lasting impression on me. On the Saturday there, before going to bed, I sat down and wrote a brief entry in my journal about it.

Saturday August 3, 2013

Well, this afternoon at 4:30PM there was "Interest Group Sessions". I was thrilled to find out that daddy, James, and I were assigned to the "European/African Group". I was hoping we would be in that "group" (of 100 or so people). It was amazing and wonderful. At some point of the session they pulled up a map of Africa on the projector. They were talking about languages and the percentages of french speakers in Africa. I was blown away by the statistics. I had no idea that there were so many french speakers in Africa. I love french and I have a deep love for the people of Africa.  Someday, Lord-willing, I hope to go to Africa and share God's love there. We'll see what God has in mind. This conference has been so great!
-Lauren Barry

But, before I would ever step foot on Africa, the Lord wanted me somewhere else. The Lord wanted me to go to a public school again. I have had a variety of schooling throughout my years, from private Christian primary school to homeschool to cyber-school to public middle school to private Christian highschool. I went to public school in the 6th grade, but it was not a vivid experience. I never liked the thought of having the title of "public-schooler". I never thought I would go back to the public school. I had just started to feel comfortable and adjusted to the small Christian private highschool... unwilling and loathing the thought of public school. Looking back, I see how unthankful I was. Thankfully, the Lord gave my parents the wisdom to make the decision. I now know more fully the truth that as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts... 

 Now I am beyond thankful that the Lord put me in the public school last year. He orchestrated everyday in ways I could not imagine. He blessed me with a wonderful friend, Ashley Moy, who I would not have met if it were not for Him orchestrating every detail that we should meet! She is a huge encouragement to me, a joy to know, and an inspiring sister in Christ. She is also a reminder to me of God's goodness and His faithfullness in answering my prayer for a friend at the public school. He did not just give me a friend; He gave me a big sister (and no less - for eternity with HIM!).

Going to the public school felt like going to another country for me. I think I can empathize with those who have experienced said "culture shocks". People did not give hugs everday at public school. And obviously there was no prayer, no chapel, and no students cleaning tables in the cafeteria. It was puzzling for me not to find any spray bottles or paper towels my first day in the cafeteria.

God has been teaching me to trust Him and follow Him no matter where He might lead me, knowing that He has a purpose and bigger picture of what is best. 
I think public school is probably exactly where Jesus would be sitting at a table in the cafeteria, eating with sinners-just like me.

The school year flew by. I spent many nights falling asleep in tears and prayer. I was overwhelmed by the broken hearts and lives I saw each day. But Jesus' forgiveness and love reaches the deepest wounds. Even when Jesus was dying on the cross, the love in His heart for us was so deep and genuine that He said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)  It is by God's grace I am who I am today. And it is only through Christ that I can love. True love is often painful, (to the point of shedding tears), but we have been so loved (Jesus shedded His tears and blood).

In November I acquired a passport. I thought that the first place I would travel to with the passport would be undoubtedly Canada, just a couple hours north by car. Unexpectedly, an opportunity arose sooner than I thought. Mother informed me that a team from our church was going to be going to Uganda in July 2014. I spent a lot of time thinking and praying over the trip. I knew that I should go to the continent which I have loved (Africa) someday, but I never imagined that God would give me an opportunity to go at my age. I felt too young. But telling God my age did not matter. He knew I was only fifteen years old. He orchestrated the way for me to go to Uganda at my age, with my big brother Daniel, and the support of family and friends.

We left on Tuesday July 8th 2014. We flew from Pittsburgh to DC. From DC to Brussels. And from Brussels to Entebbe. I would encourage everyone to go on a plane at least once to experience the wonder of turbulence and to see how vast and wonderfully made everything God made is; to look from above and see His great design of the earth. It is a new perspective of God's creation worth seeing. It could leave you speechless. And to think... it was all made out of dust by HIM.

When we walked out of the Entebbe airport there was an entourage of Ugandans with signs lined up to meet us. It was one of the sweetest things that I have ever seen. We stayed a night at a hotel in Entebbe. The next day we drove for several hours to Hoima. I saw many things on the long car ride including:

• A little hut with a woman sitting outside. On the roof of the hut was a huge sign that read "JESUS IS MY SECURITY"
• A little boy digging a hole for his little sister to use the bathroom
• Many people waving to us and whispers and shouts of glee... "Mazungu!" the children shrieked. (which means "white person")
• Many men sat around on motorcycles and people sat along the rode
• A little boy by the side of the road holding a machete casually
• Dirt and smoke
• Beauty
• A family building a house out of sticks by the side of the road
• Shops and market stands with crowds of people
• Lots of feet (It is a reality... hardly anyone wears shoes)
• white manniquins outside shops
• Trucks and cars with a big sticker on the front window that said things like "JESUS CARES", "HIS GRACE IS ENOUGH", "JESUS IS THE WAY", "GOD LOVES", "GOD'S MERCY TRUCK",  "JESUS LOVES YOU",  "BY HIS GRACE WE ARE SAVED"

We saw thousands of people and we traveled thousands of miles. The people are so beautiful. God made each one of them and knows them by name. They are so loved.

"Yesu Nekeggon-za!"

I learned this phrase from some children on July 11th. Translated it means: "Jesus loves you!". On July 10th and 11th I went to a conference for orphans at a church down the road. There was a lot of singing and dancing and clapping. Their worship services are very lively and full of passion.  It broke my heart to see these people who live in physical poverty praising the Lord ecstatically. It was beautiful and life changing. I spent a lot of time with the children there.  We danced together, we sung together, we clapped together, we communicated with each other best we could, and we spent time fellowshipping together. Our team was thankful for the opportunity to give the precious children at the conference hand-knit dolls. 112 dolls were made with love by the knitting group at our church. I asked my friend Irene how to say “Jesus loves you” in Ronyoro (their language).  “Yesu Nekeggon-za” she said.  She repeated it several times slower and I repeated it after her until I could say it reasonably well with people understanding what I was saying.  The fifteen or so children that were crowded around me began to chime in saying it over and over again to me.  They were teaching me how to say it. Their voices were so beautiful. As they all were repeating the phrase in unison, it sounded like a rhythmical chant beginning a song.  I clearly remember the little dark darling faces of the children crowded around me saying those words… “Yesu nekeggon-za… Yesu ne-keg-gon-ZA… Yesu nekeggon-za…”

           

Saturday July 12, 2014

        Where do you see someone on a bicycle with a huge bundle of tobacco on the back? Where do you see woman carrying a large number of fish in a basket upon their heads? Where do people walk miles to a “clean” water source? Where do people cut grass with machetes? Where do you see a little young boy looking wistfully at you and holding a machete casually? Where do you see millions living in poverty in a disease-ridden land? Where do you see a large satellite disc being transported on a back of a bike? Where do trucks tip over because of a pothole in the unmaintained road, and a truck full of well drilling supplies and well drilling team members get jostled around on the road? Where do you find clean water when there is none?

        What do I smell here? I smell Africa. I smell Uganda. It is a red smell. A dusty, smoky, musty smell. It is a smell that is gloomy and dirty, containing hints of disease and poverty, and the natural body odor. But in these smells that I have smelled here, I have found indescribable joy and sweetness. God’s love is found here. He works here and loves here, just like He does thousands of miles away in my hometown. I have seen many bright white-on-black smiles. I have seen little children, with deep hurt and poor health, praising the Lord. Holding dozens of little dark hands in mine, I think I have had a glimpse of the Father's heart. Hands that belong to faces. Faces that are created and so loved by God. Children that Jesus came to earth to die for.
I love the smell here. It is like nothing I have ever smelled. It is a red smell.

-Lauren Barry

        On July 12^th, we went to CEED coffee plantation. There we distributed cooking stoves to families. We demonstrated it for them after teaching them how to use it. We made a big pot of rice for lunch. After all the stoves were distributed, the people started dancing and singing and clapping. Jeeska who works at the coffee farm and helps manage it, instigated a celebration. She is a bright cheerful lady, who has great leadership skills. She has a wonderful sweet boisterous voice, which inevitably makes everyone around sing, dance, and clap. She carries a huge gorgeous smile upon her face with a beautiful outgoing laugh.

            We went back to the coffee plantation another day and did a medical clinic and distributed eyeglasses. I helped with fitting people with reading glasses, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Their faces had an inexpressible brightness once they could see properly.

            On Sunday July 13^th, after church, we had no plans for the afternoon. I met a little girl, named Esther. She was wandering around the hotel. I think she belonged to one of the hotel staff members, but I never found out whom. I relished the hours I spent with her on Sunday afternoon. She was a little frightened of me at first, but I gave her one of the knitted dolls and she and I soon became friends. I sat down on a little cement wall, and she sat in my lap. She sat there on my lap quietly and contently for at least an hour, until dinnertime. Kristine and Frida, ladies that work at the hotel, that I became good friends with, came and sat by me. We chatted with each other until dinnertime. It was a very lovely special afternoon.

            I am so thankful that I was able to experience all this at my age. But what did I do in Uganda?? Nothing, really. It is not about me. It is about Jesus and what God did and is doing. The two weeks i experienced in Uganda was short. I am beyond thankful for what God did through everyone's support and prayers, what God did in my heart, and what God continues to do in people's lives all around the world. I thank God for my Aunt Terri and all the knit-wits (knitting group) that made 112 beautifully knit dolls to give to the delighted children. And thank you to everyone who supported the trip! I could not have had this experience at my age if it were not for you and what God did through your support and prayers. I hope my writing has given you a substantial taste of the experience you helped make possible. 
God is so good. He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His mighty power that is at work within us. He orchestrates everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan.
To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.
Yesu Nekeggon-za!
With Love and Gratitude,
Lauren

P.S. God is still working, and He still works through your prayers. Please pray for the people of Uganda, CEED coffee plantation, continued support and encouragement for those who are living there sharing God's love and providing medical help, and pray for my friends: Esther, Irene, Kalupe, Nora, and the many other children we met. Thank you. Your prayers are much appreciated. Please feel free to contact me if there is anyway I can be praying for you.

This is my story.This is my song...

1. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
   Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
   Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
   Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
   • Refrain:
     This is my story, this is my song,
     Praising my Savior all the day long;
     This is my story, this is my song,
     Praising my Savior all the day long.
2. Perfect submission, perfect delight,
   Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
   Angels, descending, bring from above
   Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
3. Perfect submission, all is at rest,
   I in my Savior am happy and blest,
   Watching and waiting, looking above,
   Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

-Frances J. Crosby

Blessed Assurance Jesus is mine